Hugs and Other Social Dilemma's (Part Deux)

Continued from Previous Post

Thanks to all my 'guinea pigs' who volunteered intimate/personal information and took part in 'sting' operations. Credits at the end of this series.


* PART DEUX *

In my experience and now its been substantiated by our extensive research, there are 4 major hugging groups:

1. THE CLING-ON HUG
(No relation to the alien beings from Star Trek, though I'd prefer those Klingons any day!)

This method is practiced mainly by people who
(a) are very affectionate
(b) have evolved from Koala bears or
(c) are trying to pick your pocket.

Imagine -- you're walking down a street, whistling and swinging your arms, or whatever it is you do, when you'll suddenly hear a loud squeal. Before you can react, someone pop’s out from behind a lamppost and jumps on you. While trying to fight off a heart attack, you discern that the person attached to you is in fact a friend, but not someone you are too fond of. It's no use trying ot get out of that clinch as they just wont let you go. Most likely you'll have to go home, get a crowbar, and pry the hugger loose.
The worst part is that the bus conductor never believes that you had NO SAY in your choice of accessories, and insists that you pay for 2 tickets instead of just your own!


2. THE TOUCH-N-GO HUG
These hugs are usually courtesy of the cleanliness freaks and the 'I'm too cool for you!' types.

They believe that by hugging you they might catch a variety of deadly diseases, or worse still may lose their social standing. They behave accordingly. They'll walk up to you and suddenly grab your shoulders (pinning your arms to your sides in case you are tempted to touch them with those germ-laden paws of yours). They will then proceed to bring one shoulder in your general direction vicinity… and consider the hug given.

Personally, I prefer these types. They don't expect me to do anything, and that's what I'm best at! :)

(to be continued)